For I Am Wolf!

Imagine if you can the parallels of coincidence that affected me on this journey. My introduction to the condition of wolves in North America came to me at a vulnerable, emotional time. I had just spent seven weeks in an escapist environment; I had been working as a camp counsellor on a summer camp for disadvantaged children, children labelled with Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyperactivity and so pumped full of Ritalin (a suppressant drug), children from the slums of an inner city, children who had little experience of love and care, children who are ignored. This experience is a whole story in itself, and a time spent away from the general throngs of day to day living.
 Whether you yourself have ever experienced such seclusion, let me tell you, for me, following my time on camp, I came to lack a personality, an opinion and knowledge of contemporary events. All I had time for were the concerns of the children in my care, and a new awareness of the issues that affected them, issues that in turn, were to affect me. I was unsure of myself. Though positive of thought, I was negative and uncertain in a personal, insecure, world.
 The natural step in this situation was to continue with this ignorance to the real world; the outside world.
 I felt I was alone, and I needed strength.
 I found it in the spirit of the wolf.
 He was to influence the steps I was to take, the concern I attained, the knowledge I sought. The wolf was to be my guide on this journey.
 I first read about the reintroduction of Wolves to The Rocky Mountains in National Geographic. It was a one page article (anything longer may have been flipped by), highlighting the work of the US Fish and Wildlife Service. The article evoked my curiosity.
 At the time I was staying at a friends house in rural New York State and supposedly planning my route across America’s states. I had six weeks in which to travel and the country was too big to see it all. Ideas had been, and gone, and a dilemma had developed.
 The author William Horwood, had influenced four previous journeys. I had been entertained by the trilogy of the ‘Duncton Moles’ whilst spending six months in Western Europe and six weeks alone in the Spanish Pyrenees where I read ‘Stonor Eagles’, which in turn inspired me to travel to the isle of Skye. ‘Callanish’ to the Stones of Callanish on Lewis and ‘Skallagrigg’ to work with disabled children and travel annually on the Pilgrimage to Lourdes.
 I was now accompanied by his two latest books, ‘Wolves of Time’. The first of these I had already read whilst trekking Ireland the summer before, but had chose to reread when staying at the camps this summer. The second novel, the sequel, was newly published and was to be opened as I ventured across States.
 With Wolves on my mind, and their plight brought to my attention, and my concern, I went with my instincts, and interests, and chose to head to the Rocky Mountains. The route I needed to take was through Chicago, so for no other reason , I went there first.
 Now on the train west, I began the opening chapter of ‘Wolves of Time’ part two, ‘A Shaman’s Story’. Though aware of the word Shaman, this was an introduction to their role. Again my curiosity was aroused.
 My arrival in Chicago heralded two days exploration and tourism as I waited for a connection that would take me further west. The first place I chose to see was the Field Museum. As I wandered the halls of interest I happened upon the section detailing the history of Tribal and Native Americans. The Indians.
 Now for me, Indians only existed in the movies, John Wayne and Audrey Murphy. Yet here I was fascinated by the history of a nation. Especially when my attention noticed the symbolism of the wolf in their beliefs, I then went on to study and understand the true reality of Shamanism, absorbing the information proffered by the museum.
 Situated along the beach front of Lake Michigan, is Chicago Zoo. It houses a family of Gray Wolves and several of their Mexican cousins. On the second day I found myself at the zoo and face to face with wolves.
 The chance was too great to ignore and I consumed as much knowledge as I could in my short visit, yet vowed to explore and learn more.
 How little did I know then where that promise would take me.
 I have often felt the spiritual connection of the places I visit - the tranquillity of the land of Callanish influences the need for the Standing Stones. It confirms the historical stance the site takes. I am open to belief. I have studied and participated in many spiritual connections.
 The positivity I have now has only strengthened from the journey I took. My story needs to be told, if only to reveal the awareness of many struggling cultures in such a vast country.
II.
This is the basis for why I travel - to learn, acquire knowledge through my experiences. To understand.
 I see the control of the Rocky Mountain Wolf. I see the struggle for education in New York, the medical labelling of deprived youth, the financial stress and hardship of the founders of this America; the Indian Tribes. I hear of the violence in most cities. I understand the need for refuges of restoration where energy can be gathered to combat disease and mental pressure.
 And I can see only one common link to all these problems. Society and the oppression it can cause.
 Am I alone in this thought?
 Consider the wolf. The information I have since gathered about the relocation of the wolves, labels it ‘an ecological experiment’. What right does any being have to experiment on another?
 I have waded through many documents from different sources and written by various opinions. I continually recognise phrases:
‘full evaluation’
‘monitored’
‘this management facility will foster wild behaviour’
‘governments can chose’
‘the service is preparing’
‘further evaluate for their suitability as a candidate for release’
‘have been paired with a mate’
‘captivity’
‘their homing instinct can wane’
‘kept’
‘endangered’.
 Endangered! By whom?
 The people who chose to have this control, for these are all phrases that stress power. Ambiguous words that in context could relate to many environments.
 The wolf is a wild animal. It belongs in the landscape. It has a right to live and wander as it pleases. It is primarily one of nature’s most gifted creatures. They communicate, breed families, have friends, homes, and land that was their ancestors long before it was ours. Like man they populate the earth, but they have no voice, they can raise little opposition, they are not in power, therefore they are able to be pushed around.
 An inconsiderate society and governments, chose to take that right away, and now they choose to give it back. On this journey, I often thought of this as merely a guilt trip for the actions of European forefathers who destroyed a beast that history has shown to fear and misunderstand, and now our intelligence has taken time to think, this programme is an attempt to right those wrongs. (Wrongs that, ironically, are already righting themselves.)
 I am sure the Indian Tribes can compare to the struggle of the wolf only too well. There are many political situations facing the tribes, mostly relating to this invasion of westernised, civilised, pioneers that could be thought to over-populate this once ignored country.
 When will we ever learn just to leave things alone?
 When will the oppression end?
 Probably when it is too late.
 I think the next generation will struggle to benefit from any immediate change, not that one is likely to happen. But what about the next, the children after them? What can be done for them?
 When the damage is accounted for, when help is given to any that aspire to survive, our children, then perhaps will benefit from our change in attitude.
 When greed has been vanquished.
 When classicism no longer exists and we are each recognised for the strengths we offer. When every mouth is fed by an equal hand.
 It is no wonder I seek to escape and attempt to live in a mind of spiritual pleasure. In my present situation; I am at present a student wrapped up in the conformity of Higher Education, I can do little else than observe.
 From this course of study, my voice will be my art and my writing. I am fortunate to be able to fight above my oppression and, with the freedom I create, I hope to give enjoyment to those who struggle to achieve it. Perhaps I can offer a moment of peace to a society that labour to be peaceful.
 If I can travel, take on the journey of my body and mind, and in turn tell stories of my experiences and learning and so create an awareness of the emotions I feel, the knowledge I acquire, the situations I face, the pleasures I see; the pleasures of nature, then at present I am doing my little bit to help, for I know that one day, a bigger picture will be painted and I hope to hold a paintbrush in its creation. I have faith.